Teens are growing and changing so quickly, both inside and out.
They’re going through a period where they refine their identities, take on new social roles, and start to function more freely in the outside world. However, teenagers' responses to these changes can vary depending on their upbringing. While some people may experience more difficult conditions as they grow up—like social pressure or a lack of emotional support—others may grow up in more supportive homes. It is important to understand these differences to assist them in navigating this stage of their lives.
It is important to understand which behaviours are typical of kids as they mature and which ones may suggest a problem. Teens are adjusting to changes in their emotional, social, and cognitive abilities, which can result in a variety of behaviours, such as mood swings and withdrawal from family events. Parents can positively support their teens by being aware of these changes and knowing what is age-appropriate.
Understanding Age-Appropriate Behaviours
Emotional and social changes
Teens go through major emotional transitions as they learn how to deal with new emotions and social situations. For example, it's common for teenagers to have mood swings or become agitated over seemingly insignificant matters. Imagine this: Your teen has a meltdown because they can't find their favourite shirt before school. It's not just about the shirt; it's also about developing coping mechanisms for disappointment and frustration.
Socially, teenagers begin to value friendships and interactions with their peers more. This can mean they're spending more time with pals or on their phones and less time with their families. Along with pushing boundaries and challenging authority, kids might begin to explore their independence. Despite the potential difficulty to manage them, these behaviours are a natural part of development.
Cognitive development
The term "cognitive development" describes how teenagers reason, think, and make decisions. The adolescent brain is still growing, especially in the area in charge of impulse control and decision-making. This explains why your teen may act impulsively or in a risky manner, such as choosing to stay out beyond curfew without considering the consequences of doing so.
Teens are also developing more complex reasoning skills, which may be both exhilarating and stressful for them. They might get into more arguments, challenge your opinions, or have debates. Even though it seems like they're pressing your buttons, it's all a part of their cognitive development!
Identifying Challenges in Teen Behaviours
While many adolescent behaviours are typical, some could indicate more serious issues. It's important to know the difference between normal and potentially problematic behaviour. A certain level of moodiness or disengagement from family members, for instance, is normal, but if your adolescent shows abrupt changes in sleeping or eating patterns, is always agitated, or isolates themselves completely, these could be signs of a more serious problem.
It might be difficult to determine when bad behaviour becomes an issue. For example, your teen's behaviour at school, such as skipping classes or acting out, could appear like ordinary teenage rebellion. But repeated incidents or an escalation in severity—such as violent outbursts or ongoing defiance—might call for further investigation. Keep an eye out for trends and think about talking to a professional if you notice behaviours that seem out of character or persist over time.
Teens face so many pressures that can impact their behaviour. One of the most common kinds of pressure comes from peers, who can have an impact on anything from risk-taking behaviours to fashion choices. Your adolescent may make choices that are inconsistent with their morals or your expectations because of their desire to fit in.
Stress related to school is another challenge. The stress of doing well in school can cause worry, insomnia, and sometimes even burnout. Teens may have trouble managing their time or feel like they're always falling short when they compare themselves to others. Thanks to social media, teens can compare themselves to others more easily than ever, which adds another layer and may have an effect on their behaviour and self-esteem.
Effective Management Strategies for Parents
We know that managing teen behaviour can feel overwhelming (to say the least!), but there are several strategies that parents can use to help guide their teens through these challenging years.
Communication Techniques
One of the best ways to relate to and understand your adolescent is through open and honest communication. Establish an accepting environment where your teenager feels free to express themselves. Try asking more open-ended inquiries like, "I've noticed you've been spending more time alone lately; is everything okay?" rather than direct ones like, "Why are you always in your room?" This can start deeper conversations without making your teen feel defensive.
It's important to practice active listening, which means paying close attention to what your adolescent is saying without interrupting or offering solutions straight away. Say something like, "That sounds tough," or "I hear you," to demonstrate empathy and support their feelings. It’s not always about fixing the problem but showing that you care and are there to support them. When teens feel heard and understood, they are more likely to open up in the future.
Setting Boundaries
Setting clear and healthy boundaries is really helpful for both parents and teens. Boundaries teach teenagers responsibility and respect while also helping to provide structure. For instance, imposing a curfew teaches children the value of time management and personal safety in addition to restricting their time out. Set these boundaries with your teen; this will make them feel more understood and valued than controlled.
Giving your adolescent choices within the limits you establish can help them become more independent and responsible. For example, consider asking, "Would you rather do your homework before or after dinner?" as an alternative to, "You must do your homework now." Providing them some autonomy can let them feel in charge while sticking to the rules. Also, be consistent with consequences when boundaries are crossed. This helps reinforce the importance of the limits you’ve set.
Encouragement & Support
Teens benefit most from encouragement and affirmation. No matter how small something may seem, celebrate their accomplishments to help them develop self-esteem. Instead of just praising good grades, recognize the effort they put in, like saying, “I’m proud of how hard you studied for that test.” Resilience building is also important. Teach your adolescent that mistakes and failures are inevitable and present a chance to improve.
As your kid navigates challenges, be an ongoing source of guidance and encouragement for them. Saying something like, "I'm here to talk if you want, or we can find a way to work through this together" could help your kid who is having trouble making friends. Show that you’re available and willing to help them find solutions while respecting their growing independence. Your support can help them feel confident in facing life’s ups and downs.
At Moose Jaw Psychology Services, we offer a number of therapy modalities, including Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), which teaches mindfulness, emotional regulation, and interpersonal skills to help children and teens enhance their coping strategies. We understand that a child's health has an impact on the whole family, and we're here to provide parents and kids with tools to foster a healthier family dynamic.
Our comprehensive approach nurtures your child's resilience and capabilities. Get in touch with us or schedule an appointment today; we're here to help!